Seven things you can never say while playing Old-Timey Baseball

Look out, 1897. There’s a new George Carlin in town, with a comprehensive no-no list of the things Major League Baseball players can’t say during gameplay (especially in the presence of a lady).

The Yanksfan vs. Soxfan blog has hilarious scans of the original parchment used for an official league document intended to eradicate swearing in baseball, drafted by the owner of the National League’s Cincinnati franchise. Highlights from the list:

• You prick-eating bastard!
• A dog must have fucked your mother when she made you!
• I’ll make you suck my ass!

If the mood for obscenity strikes while on the field, players, concentrate on something else, like rewaxing the curl in your moustache or sipping on a nice, cool sasparilla ginger ale (I mixed up my old-timey beverages).

• baseball
• obscenity