Ilia Malinin Is Good As Hell At Ice Skating

Ilia Malinin is 19 and just won the world championship title of international ice skating or something by being an absolute wizard on ice skates. I’ve only been on ice skates 6 or 7 times in my life and I’m getting better, but I’m still kinda wobbly, so don’t take my word for it. Just watch him do all sorts of triple cows lutz axles better than anyone’s ever done it. My favorite part is when he does the two twisty jumps in a row, which he does at least 3 different times. Imagine being half this good at anything, let alone something as difficult as jumping in circles WITH RAZOR BLADES SCREWED TO YOUR DOC MARTENS.

Malinin landed a quadruple Axel, quad Lutz, quad loop, quad Salchow, another quad Lutz and a quad toe loop, then finished his four-minute skate with a a triple Lutz-triple Axel finale.

I don’t live too far from Salem, and they still put people on trial for this kind of sorcery there.

• figure skating
• ilia malinin