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I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake. “I am a nice horse. I do not fuss. I do not bite the human woman’s face, even though her hair smells nice. I do not ask to go live free in the woods like the deer. I do my duties. I must try cake. Please.”

Comments  4

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B
Ben Sargent

I laughed so hard I cried little tears of joy.

K
Khurram Farooqui

The horse makes a strong case.

Jason KottkeMOD

The comments about this piece on Instagram are entertaining/charming.

T
Tim Bradshaw

Hello. I am a human. I work very hard at my job of being a human. I am a good human, I think. Because I am a good human I would like, sometimes, perhaps when I am particularly good, to read the clever comments on the instagram thing. Or the facebook thing, or the thing that once was called twitter but now has some other name. But I can not do this, because whenever I try, the facebook instagram bird things insist I must install an app, and then I must make an account thing with them which will involve them shaving parts of my soul away which they will sell to people. They will use the money this brings them to fund people who like to torture and kill us humans. Sometimes they like to do this themselves, as well.

And I will not do this.

Sometimes it makes me sad that I cannot see the no-doubt very amusing twittergrambook comments. But mostly I am happy that I am not helping these people with their torturing and killing. It is better to remain a human.

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