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I’m not an asshole, I’m an introvert!

Ok, maybe this is fair.

Most introverts find small talk cumbersome, but I actually hate all sizes of talk. I especially hate talking on the phone, even with friends. If a friend texts me, “Hey, you’re twenty minutes late! You promised you wouldn’t flake again, are you still coming?” or “emergency i need your help please call me asap,” I just won’t do it. When you think about it, it’s sort of selfish of them to demand that I talk to them on the phone even after I’ve told them multiple times that I’m an introvert.

As an introvert, I hate donating money to charity. I’m just too shy to think about my money going to help some stranger.

See also Sorry I Murdered Everyone, But I’m An Introvert.