“I’ll finish this, then call him and confess everything.” Artist Gabrielle Bell’s overheard/overseen “Drawings in Cafes.” More here. (“Confess” here.)
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Entries for December 2023
Baby Drawings
Some sketches of my daughter Georgia from her first few months. Forgive me! Made between Nov. 2021 and Jan. 2022.
Pleasantly surprised to find that Arts & Letters Daily — a great site for articles, reviews, and opinions — has a newsletter.
“… some of the most defining memes of 2023, from nepo babies to babygirl.” For Rolling Stone, Julia Reinstein chronicles the year in 21 memes. I’d heard of nine of them.
“Fifty years ago, eight Americans set off for South America to climb Aconcagua, one of the world’s mightiest mountains. Things quickly went wrong.” So begins “Ghosts on the Glacier,” a new multimedia story from the New York Times.
Single-Item Gift Guide
Every year my mom sends us a box of grapefruit for the holidays (and beyond), and I can’t think of a gift I’ve enjoyed more. On a low-burn, daily enjoyment level, anyway. Also it’s just so welcome and refreshing in the winter. Plus the grapefruit is delicious and pretty. She gets hers from Hale Groves, in Florida, but I imagine many vendors are offering excellent grapefruit this time of year.
TIL: Grapefruit are called grapefruit because they grow in bunches like grapes.
“Better to ask directly and be refused than to wish endlessly for help.” Dang, Philip Galanes! Filing away for personal use…
Ask Me Anything: Edith Z.
Thanks for all the Qs in response to my post yesterday! Here are my answers. Also, here’s Jason’s great AMA if anyone missed it.
How long have you been knitting? How did you learn? Also do you have a favorite project/technique? I’ve fallen in love with cables.
I taught myself in 2015 using YouTube, which is great because you can replay the videos endlessly.
Aside from the Pengweeno cardigan and Sawtooth mittens I’ve already mentioned, I make a ton of these Classic Ribbed Hats from Purl Soho (above), which is probably a boring answer, but they’re great to give as gifts.
What is the most active conversation in your group texts right now?
In my friends’ Discord, we’re praising Lucy’s Christmas playlist.
How do you not run out of things to write? How does any one-person creative unit not run out?
I definitely run out of things to write. I did here on Day Two, and I freaked out. Then I just kind of pulled things out of my butt.
Back when I ran a blog of my own, I was super tuned in to the internet, and it was relatively easy to find a ton of cool/funny stuff to share and riff on all day — scrolling through Google Reader was like second nature. These days I’m less looped in.
WILL YOU BE HOSTING YOUR OWN WEBLOG IN THE FUTURE?
Probably not, but I’m hoping to start my newsletter back up again. It’s just comics, though, unless something changes. I flirted with the idea of trying to bring back The Hairpin (the blog I used to run), but it would probably be a mistake, even if it was possible. I’ve really enjoyed posting here for Jason, though. Almost no one does it like this anymore!
I once worked for a publication that was technically a blog, but one of its (unofficial) policies was to summarize the articles we linked to, rather than encourage people to visit the sources, so as to not lose traffic. That was my understanding anyway, after an early conversation with an editor. I thought that was a bummer; the linking-out part of blogging has always seemed like the spirit of the internet. Which is of course part of why I love Kottke.org so much.
My question is more about you pausing your Substack comics. I’m curious about what happens to our work and creative process when we build an audience. I don’t know what the question really is — I guess: How do we share art without creating so much pressure on ourselves?
I wish I knew! At first sending my newsletter was so easy, but then I built up expectations around what I thought readers wanted. And then I became really worried about what people would think of any given installment, which started to disfigure the whole process for me. (“Will they like it? Is it stupid??? Will they hate me?? Do I hate me????”) I ended up creating work I thought sucked, and eventually I stopped posting altogether.
As for solutions to the problem, I got a lot out of something the writer Jessa Crispin mentioned in her newsletter, which I posted about a few days ago. The idea is basically that one should cultivate some healthy “contempt” for one’s audience. It sounded counterintuitive at first, even rude, but then it made a lot of sense. It helped me get out from under the weight of worrying about what people think, since that’s a losing game.
I used to really fear people disliking my work, and I still do, but maybe I have one degree more acceptance of it.
If I bring back my newsletter, I’m thinking I might turn off the “like and comment” feature. While I loved getting that feedback, I think specifically the “likes” were bending my work to their will. I’ve actually loved sharing stuff on Kottke in part because there’s not a ton of immediate feedback here. It’s like, Okay, the stuff is just out there. Hopefully it will help me connect with others eventually, but it’s not the end of the world if that doesn’t happen right away, or ever. It feels healthier.
How does the experience of blogging like this change how you feel about blogging, and if you want to get back to it?
I’m in a weepy mindset where my first response is: “Blogging this way is PRECIOUS!!! I didn’t appreciate it a tenth as much as I should have when it was my full-time job!”
I also forgot how intense and all-encompassing it can be. Like every day I keep wondering if I’ve gotten so zoned-in that I’ve forgotten to pick my daughter up at daycare. (I haven’t yet.)
What are your three favorite movies of all time, and one that you hate that everyone else loves?
I don’t watch a lot of movies, so nothing really comes to mind, but I do have an emotional attachment to the 1922 movie Nosferatu.
If you asked about books, though — let’s say favorites of the past five years — I would say War and Peace, Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, and Pride & Prejudice. I was on a classic-novel kick in 2022, and it was one of the most fun reading-times of my life.
The story behind all the British novels is that many years ago my dad bought a leather-bound set of “100 of the Greatest Books Ever Written” that arrived once a month until the whole set was complete. When he died, I boxed them up and kept them in storage. I finally brought them out last year, when I had a real house with real bookshelves — after 14 years in those storage boxes! — and began reading a few. (For War and Peace I read the amazing Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky translation.)
Other great recent-ish reads: Nothing to See Here, by Kevin Wilson, and Piranesi, by Susanna Clarke.
Thanks for the Qs, this was super fun to write!
Since I’m here I might as well beat the drum about an opinion I had five years ago and maintain to this day: “Why Would Any Man Not Want to Be Bald?”
“Using tweezers, carefully remove the lines and now your cake is revealed.” Here are instructions for making a snowy tennis-court cake circled with rosemary-sprig pine trees.
“…court data revealed that the percentage of divorces leading to equal joint custody — in which time with each parent is split 50–50 — rose from just 2 percent in 1980 to 35 percent in 2010.” Wow, as a child from a joint custody situation in the late ’80s, I didn’t realize it was so rare. That’s from a new Atlantic story: “America Isn’t Ready for the Two-Household Child.” (But also: “To be fair, constructing surveys that capture the complexities of joint custody is difficult. Anecdotally, we know that such arrangements tend to be highly fluid, shifting throughout the year during summer breaks and holidays, and over time as kids age.”)
Cool Old Songs: Graham Smith, a.k.a. Kleenex Girl Wonder
One of the weirder holiday songs I like is “Maybe This Christmas,” by musician Graham Smith, a.k.a. Kleenex Girl Wonder. It has some profanities at the beginning, but by the end it does really get me into the spirit.
(Please let me know if the Bandcamp embed is giving anyone grief.)
At first I didn’t like Smith’s music, which my husband plays in the car constantly, but then something clicked. I also like the video he and his band made for their 2016 song “Plight.” (It’s a shot-by-shot remake of Rihanna’s “Stay” and is probably NSFW but not intensely.)
Kleenex Girl Wonder has tons more music on Bandcamp. It’s kind of confusing, honestly. But my husband recommends their 2015 “Getting Started” album as a good entry point, if you’re feeling the holiday song.
Jogging Stroller (Comic)
From 2022.
ASMR Recommendations: Ecuador Live & Moonlight Cottage
I’m hesitant to write much about ASMR videos, because the experience feels so personal, but I usually watch (or, listen) for a half hour each night, usually to fall asleep. I go through phases of enjoying different ASMRtists, but lately it’s been Ecuador Live (above left) and Moonlight Cottage (above right). Doña Esperanza from Ecuador Live has maybe the most peaceful voice in the world, and Diane from Moonlight Cottage is on another level with her sets and art direction. But mostly it’s just her voice, too. (I thought this one might be too weird, but it was not.) If there’s an ASMR Review newsletter out there, I’d love to know about it.
For what it’s worth, I’m not sure I get the signature ASMR “tingles,” but these videos do put me to sleep.
In the summer, I saw a ton of people linking to this Outside essay about attending a grueling destination wedding deep in the Guatemalan jungle, but at the time I skipped it. I’m glad I finally read it, this morning, compelled by its appearance on Longreads’ “Best Personal Essays of 2023” list. Lives up to the hype!
Here is a very pleasing drawing of a piece of bread. And the story behind it, but mostly the bread. [via wordloaf] Prints here.
Diary Comics, Nov. 9
(Previously: Oct. 28 & 29, Oct. 30 & 31, Nov. 1 & 2, Nov. 3 & 4, Nov. 5 & 6, Nov. 7 & 8)
Basement Sign (Comic)
From 2021.
The Cloisters, but make it gingerbread. (On view at the Museum of the City of New York until January 15.)
Out Today
My daughter is home sick, so there will be fewer posts from me today. But I will be back tomorrow, I hope!
PS: Please feel free to ask me any questions, either here in the comments or in an email. Tuesday will be my last day, and I enjoy posting these mini Q&As. Turns out I miss chatting and blogging! Questions could be about anything. How do you know Jason? Initially through blogging and living in NYC, and now slightly more because we live vaguely close to each other in upstate New York and Vermont. How old are you? 40! How did you meet your husband? Bumble! But we had a mutual friend, which helped break the ice. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?? Hmm let me think….
Harry Clarke’s Illustrations
Every so often on Instagram I come across Harry Clarke’s stringy, spooky illustrations for the 1919 Edgar Allan Poe collection Tales of Mystery & Imagination (above left) or the 1925 version of Goethe’s Faust. Poking around led me to this 2016 story in the Public Domain Review: “Harry Clarke’s Looking Glass.” As I learned, he once wrote to a friend that his publisher thought a set of his Faust illustrations were “full of stench and steaming horrors.”
50watts has more great images, and here’s a zoomable version of the “Sea Witch” (above right) from his illustrations for Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Little Mermaid.”
Diary Comics, Nov. 7
Nov. 8 was pure complaining, so I’m skipping that one. (Previously: Oct. 28 & 29, Oct. 30 & 31, Nov. 1 & 2, Nov. 3 & 4, Nov. 5 & 6)
“A funny story about Norman Lear on the day of his passing, if that’s alright…” From comedian Alex Edelman.
The Story of “The Wexford Carol”
Last night my family listened to “The Wexford Carol” after my husband asked if I knew about its backstory. I didn’t, but I learned that while the song is centuries old, it was only relatively recently transcribed.
There’s an affecting version of that story in a recent post on America: The Jesuit Review, by Maggi Van Dorn. “I have learned to take Christmas carols seriously,” she writes, “and to anticipate the epiphanies they may bear in my spiritual life as I contemplate them anew. […] As for ‘The Wexford Carol,’ it quietly survived over 400 years of British colonial suppression and was first put to paper in the small Irish village of Enniscorthy,” where she traveled to ask locals about the song.
The above Alison Krauss and Yo-Yo Ma rendition appears on Ma’s 2008 holiday album, Songs of Joy & Peace. Loreena McKennitt also has a beautiful version, as does the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, which made a cheesy music video that also made me cry.
Owl (Comic)
From 2022, when my husband had facial hair.
Millennial Mom-hood
“I know some women who have decided to forgo motherhood altogether — not out of an empowered certainty that they want to remain child-free, but because the alternative seems impossibly daunting. Others are still choosing motherhood, but with profound apprehension that it will require them to sacrifice everything that brings them pleasure.” In Vox, Rachel M. Cohen writes about “How Millennials Learned to Dread Motherhood.”
As an old millennial, I feel compelled to say that being a mom is awesome and easily one of the most interesting and meaningful things that’s ever happened to me. But talking about how great it is can feel like tempting the gods. As Cohen notes in her piece, “When I started asking women about their experiences as mothers, I was startled by the number who sheepishly admitted, and only after being pressed, that they had pretty equitable arrangements with their partners, and even loved being moms, but were unlikely to say any of that publicly.”
Victorian seaweed-themed Christmas cards, why not? The rhymes could be a little sharper, though, in my opinion.
Great Kids’ Book: Little Witch Hazel
Yesterday at our library’s Story Time, the reader chose a book that knocked my socks off: Little Witch Hazel: A Year in the Woods, by Phoebe Wahl, from 2021. (Trailer above.) It’s about a tiny witch who lives in the forest, and it follows her on her adventures through the seasons. (The book is divided into four sections.) The kids in the crowd — ages two through five — were mostly entranced.
Two of the book’s most beautiful pages are available as prints; my favorite is above.
Wahl’s website also led me to an illustrated editorial she did for the NYT last year: “The Joys of Swimming While Fat.”
Another Knitting Post: The Pengweeno Cardigan
This is a recommendation for the pattern to the delightful Pengweeno children’s cardigan, by Stephen West. I’ve made three of them — this post is probably/definitely just an excuse to share these photos — and hope to make more.
It’s a good way to use up spare yarn, and the result is supremely cute and satisfying. There’s also an adult version — the Penguono — but for whatever reason only the Pengweeno speaks to me. (Here’s Stephen West on Ravelry, Instagram, and his website.)
Previously: Traditional Maine Mittens. I have to cram as much knitting content as I can onto this blog before Jason comes back!
When I was collecting links to share in advance of this guest-blogging stint, Moe Tkacik’s Slate essay on Jezebel was at the top of my list. Then I saw it shared everywhere and figured it would be old news by the time I started posting. But in case anyone’s missed it, it brought me back immediately to how I felt reading Jezebel at my desk at my first office job. Namely: thrilled/in awe someone like her existed. Mini anecdote: In 2008 I emailed Moe an idea for a Jezebel story. She wrote back saying, and I believe I quote, because I remember where I was when I got her response as well as the device I was reading it on: “I like this idea.” It never went anywhere, but the idea that she liked an idea of mine changed my life. Thanks, Moe.
Diary Comics, Nov. 5 & 6
Keeping on with this series… This one may be too much for one post, apologies! (Previously: Oct. 28 & 29, Oct. 30 & 31, Nov. 1 & 2, Nov. 3 & 4)
Note: Tooth discoloration turned out to be Goldfish buildup.
Yesterday I learned that there’s a newsletter dedicated to reviewing New Yorker issues, categorizing stories from “Must Read” to “Skip Without Guilt.”
Tricycle Magazine and an Essay About Stuttering
I’m not a Buddhist or a meditator, but I’ve subscribed to Buddhist magazine Tricycle for the past few years. They send a “Daily Dharma” newsletter each morning, with a single line from an archived story. I love these and maybe someday I’ll actually start meditating. Here’s one from last month:
But a story from a 2022 issue has especially stuck with me: psychiatrist (and Buddhist) Mark Epstein’s personal essay on having a speech impediment and “How Meditation Failed Me.”
… I was instructed to read the book as perfectly as I could, without rustling or coughing, speeding up or slowing down, or messing up in any way. I had done this once before with a previous book, and I was proud of having accomplished it smoothly. …
On this occasion, however, my old speech impediment came back to haunt me. Going to Pieces begins with the word “In” — a strange sound, when one isolates it and stops to think about it and convinces oneself that it cannot be said.
Each time I’ve read this essay, the ending overwhelms me. “It seemed important, at first, to find someone or something to blame…”
My only criticism of the magazine is that I wish there were more visuals to use other than Buddhas.
I Drink Water and Mind My Business
Cool “old” songs, part two? This 2021 jam was used as background music in a TikTok or Instagram reel I came across last year, and it stopped me in my tracks. I looked it up immediately and don’t understand why it hasn’t become a worldwide hit: “Mind My Business,” by Trinidadian singer Patrice Roberts. I think about it all the time. There’s also a funny music video, but I kind of prefer just imagining. [Patrice Roberts on wikipedia/instagram]
Fruit-Themed Running Clothes for Adults
Last Friday I asked for suggestions on where I might find bright, fruit-themed running clothes for adults (FTRCfA), and I was not disappointed. Commenter Seth wrote:
As a runner myself I always found BOA Running shorts and Chicknleg running shorts to have fun patterns. Last I checked both had at least a strawberry pattern to meet your fruit needs.
I had not heard of either brand before, but he was right, and the strawberry women’s shorts at BOA were even on sale. They also have cute peach ones, for both men and women. At Chicknleg I went for the pineapples and sea turtles. The snails were also tempting. Thank you, and I’m looking forward to wearing these silly, cheerful clothes come summer. I only started running at the beginning of the pandemic, but it has transformed my life. I didn’t think it would change my relationship with clothing, but it’s so much easier to wear goofy, neon stuff this way, and to not feel ridiculous about it — or to enjoy feeling ridiculous.
“The next day, his Twitter … mentions were filled with angry people complaining.” Short, fun profile of Sam Ezersky, the man behind the NYT’s Spelling Bee puzzle, in Baltimore Magazine.
Roz Chast’s Embroidery: An Appreciation
This is old news, but New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast also makes embroidered tapestries (and occasional embroidered New Yorker covers), and they’re just stunning. I also liked an interview she gave earlier this year with the sewing magazine Threads:
[Threads]: What is your favorite textile piece?
RC: It’s a picture of a little girl and she’s holding a little notebook and she has a pen and she has her parents on either side of her and the border is a quote from a Polish poet, Czesław Miłosz, and the quote is, “When a writer is born into a family, the family is finished.”
An exhibition of Chast’s embroidery — “Buildings, Bananas, and Beyond” — recently closed at the Carol Corey Fine Art gallery in Kent, CT, but there are some fantastic images online (three are featured at the top of this post, but the thumbnails don’t do them justice).
I think my favorite is her “Diver” (below).
Diary Comics: Nov. 2, 3, & 4
Some more day-in-the-life comics, with some coloring assists from my daughter.
Cool Old Songs, Part One
Lots of Kottke readers probably know about the band Pere Ubu, but I only learned about them a couple years ago, through my husband. Their song “Breath” totally rules, as does their legendary 1989 performance of it (above) on the live-music show “Sunday Night,” hosted by David Sanborn (and Jools Holland — although now I’m just quoting from Wikipedia). May I someday tap into whatever he’s tapping into if I haven’t already.
If you want more, I highly recommend the musician Cat Popper’s 2021 cover of “Breath.” (“I really like that version of ‘Breath,’” said Pere Ubu’s own David Thomas. “I like it better than mine.”)
“Breath” comes from the album Cloudland, which also contains the excellent song “Waiting for Mary,” which Pere Ubu performed on that same “Sunday Night” show. And here’s the studio version of “Breath” [spotify link] if you want a cleaner listen.
The “Sunday Long Read” newsletter linked to two parenting-adjacent stories yesterday, on opposite ends of the spectrum. One scared the crap out of me: an account of nearly dying shortly after a c-section, by Grace Glassman in Slate (“I gave birth at 45. It was a miracle that almost cost me everything”). The other was funny: David Sedaris on modern kids, in The Free Press (“Children now are like animals who have no natural predators left”).
Reading NYT book critic Dwight Garner’s memories of the books that he read/reviewed this past year (“I … remember making a fool of myself”) reminded me how much I also enjoyed his Grub Street Diet from a couple months ago. Without rereading it, and following the Sigrid Nunez prompt he used in the NYT book-memories article: I remember from that post that his apartment seemed creaky and comfortable, and that it seemed like he had a nice marriage. Also maybe something about oysters. […] Okay, no oysters, yes organ meat.
How to Cook Turkey With Just Chicken and Cinnamon
Right on time for all upcoming feasts, it’s “Holiday Recipes Dictated by Kindergarteners,” in the newsletter Bright Spots, by Chris Duffy. (His friend, a kindergarten teacher, had her students “collectively dictate to her how they believe their favorite Thanksgiving dishes were made.”) For instance, turkey:
Click through for further instructions on how to prepare stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie. Where was this two weeks ago?
On Buying Toddler Clothes
One problem with having a toddler is that there’s so much you can buy them, and it’s so easy to be tempted by all of it. Or to resist 98% of the time, but then cave and still end up having spent hundreds of dollars on sweaters and toothbrushes and sunglasses and shoes. And trampolines and socks and stuffed dragons. It’s just that my daughter likes everything right now, and it makes me feel good to give her something that she likes. Really it’s just the clothes that torment me. She loves new clothes and will put on anything that’s new to her, including all the fabulous hand-me-downs we get. But Mother magazine sometimes hits that 2% sweet (rotten) spot. A couple weeks ago, it got me to buy a little apple sweater, which I love, but which I regret buying in her size (2T) and not in a size that she’d grow into (3T), because it’s basically already too small, which is absurd because it cost $50 (on sale plus shipping and tax). I also put like $200 worth of clothing (on sale!) from Petit Pilou into a digital shopping cart before abruptly closing the tab and shutting off my phone. But I bet if I open it up again it will still be there. The pineapple dresses were really what got me.
Maybe I just want to dress all in fruit myself, and it pleases me to live through my daughter, since she seems to enjoy it as well. Hanna Andersson has some wonderful fruit clothing, since I’m on the topic. We have their strawberry socks, swimsuit, and hat.
If anyone knows of any running clothes with cool fruit patterns, please let me know. I’ve been hoping Janji will bust out with something good (their other patterns are often excellent), and although it would be cool if Tracksmith did something fruity, it would probably be tasteful and realistic, when I’m looking for something neon and extreme. Something cheerful. I hope Santa is listening.
This 30-minute NYT documentary about an Irish family sheep farm was blissful and entrancing, until they started sawing (or, trimming) a ram’s horns. It was still good, it was just a different experience. I would also describe it overall as “strange.” (“Ramboy.”) [thx, Andrew!]
The Pilea, a.k.a. Friendship, Plant
I don’t have a green thumb, but I bought one of these a few months ago, and it’s still going strong. This post is purely to recommend that plant: pilea peperomioides, also known as the Chinese money plant, the coin plant, the friendship plant, and the UFO plant. It’s pleasingly goofy and, as far as I can tell, resilient. I’ve even snipped off a few of the little “babies” that sprout from its sides (above right), kept them in water for a couple weeks to let them grow roots…
… and replanted them to give to friends.
It’s a satisfying endeavor. I will share this now before any of the little guys die.
It’s nothing like Jason’s fiddle leaf fig, but you never know.
Actually rereading that post is very moving. Writing this blog for even a few days has been an affecting experience. It has me remembering past lives and investigating current ones.
“[W]e’d start up the hill in little groups making polite small talk. How did you sleep? My legs are so sore already! By the way down, the tenor of the conversation had changed. I’m learning to be O.K. with living the rest of my life alone. It took me years to get over the guilt of not giving my son a sibling. With each hike, the time it took to go from small talk to real talk got shorter.” Writing for Air Mail, Lauren Bans makes me want to visit the Golden Door Spa.
Diary Comics, Nov. 1 & 2
Continuing on… I feel a little weird sharing these; I realize they may not be especially interesting. But, for now, more days in the life!
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