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A Fun Taxonomy of Bread Tags

photographs of several specimens of plastic bread tags

Founded in 1994, the Holotypic Occlupanid Research Group is dedicated to the study and classification of plastic bread tags.

Occlupanids are generally found as parasitoids on bagged pastries in supermarkets, hardware stores, and other large commercial establishments. Their fascinating and complex life cycle is unfortunately severely under-researched. What is known is that they take nourishment from the plastic sacs that surround the bagged product, not the product itself, as was previously thought. Notable exceptions to this habit are those living off rubber bands and on analog watch hands.

In most species, they often situate themselves toward the center of the plastic bag, holding in the contents. This leads to speculation that the relationship may be more symbiotic than purely parasitic.

a proposed family tree of plastic bread tags

a diagram labeling the parts of a plastic bread tag

I admire the commitment to the bit, but HORG appears not to have studied the one actual bit of bread tag taxonomy that could actually be useful: whether the color of the bread tag indicates when the bread was baked. (via kelli anderson)

Discussion  7 comments

Tra H

This is propaganda. Everyone knows that once you remove a bread bag clip from the bag, it only exists in this reality for as long as you're actively thinking about or looking directly at it.

The moment you stop thinking about an unutilized bag clip, or it leaves your immediate line of sight, it disappears forever, and you're left tieing a knot in the bread bag.

Steven Crozier

This is *absolutely true* and I'm holding back tears of relief that someone has finally dared to bring this terrifying and frustrating phenomenon out into the open. Bless you, sir or madam!

Reply in this thread

Michael Beuselinck

I always wondered: The paperclip game, but with bread tags.

Jason Shure

This piece adds to the discussion, though its explanation is so tidy that one gets skeptical about it precision. Always good to be able to post quality content from ... The Today Show? https://www.today.com/food/what-color-bread-bag-twist-tie-means-t115214

Keith Dawson

I've had a theory for a long time about occlupanids, and this seems as good a place as any to expose it. Theory: the male of the human species despises occlupanids and removes them as soon as possible from their bread (etc.) bags, thereafter closing the bags with a twist and a tuck. Or maybe it's just me?

Kat

My friend runs this website, and he is marvelous.

Jeremy Shuback

Think you'd appreciate this video on chasing down the rarest bread tag from a few months back.

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