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Big Bite Hot Dog Sparkling Water from 7-Eleven

I get furious every spring there isn’t an iced tea soda because I just want to try it once even though I know it would probably be terrible and we have chocolate milk soda and I can’t get iced tea soda? It’s madness is what it is.

The lack of iced tea soda is only an aside to the main news of this post, offered as preamble, because you can’t really just jump into something like hot dog seltzer water without some sort of sweetener, some sort of softening the ground ahead of the news, an amuse bouche if you will.

I’m pretty angry about this because it’s probably an April Fools joke announced early and corporations fucking lie all the time, but the least they could do is not pre-announce an April Fools joke. Now that April Fools has been coopted by try-hard brands, uh, trying too hard, a really good and cool thing for a brand to do would be to announce something what seems like a joke on April Fools and then actually deliver. No more phony bologna. If the Big Bite Hot Dog Sparkling Water is not a figment of commercial japery, if it is not a form of incorporated jackassery, if it actually exists on April 2nd, I’ll eat my hat drink one.

hotdogseltzer.jpg

The Big Bite Hot Dog Sparkling Water promises to encapsulate the essence of the iconic 7-Eleven hot dog experience, complete with the flavors of ketchup and mustard. This innovative beverage aims to transform the traditional pairing of hot dogs and sodas, allowing consumers to enjoy the essence of their favorite snack in a refreshing bubbly form.

(via @kdzwierzynski.bsky.social)

Comments  14

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F Nicholas Jungman

The tamarind flavored Jarritos soda tastes an awful lot like iced tea to me. Jarritos is basically Mexican Fanta, and you can find in most stores that have Latino specialty foods.

Aaron CohenMOD

Market Basket has a huge selection of Jarritos, I'll check out the tamarind. Thanks!

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Rebecca Nelson

Alternate flavor name: Instant Regret

Aaron CohenMOD

I tried red velvet cupcake vodka one time and that's what it tasted like.

Rebecca Nelson

Instant Regret 2: Electric Boogaloo

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Sarah Post

My dude, there is iced tea soda! (or at least Arnold Palmer soda: https://drinkspindrift.com/products/half-tea-half-lemon-sparkling-water, and mango iced tea soda https://drinkspindrift.com/products/mango-black-tea-sparkling-water).

Aaron CohenMOD

Spindrift is good, but 1) I want JUST black tea soda and 2) the last time I had the Arnold Palmer one it was a little like pouring a full can of fizzy water into the last sip of tea.

Sarah Post

Fair enough. It's kind of... subtle. The fruit flavors are better.

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Adam Howell

You’ve hit on one of my big bugaboos too, Aaron! These days I drink homemade Arnold Palmers (decaf tea / sugar free lemonade) instead of soda and energy drinks, and I've tried making both that and just regular tea into soda using my Sodastream and… The sparkling Arnold Palmers are just kinda nasty, and the sparkling black tea bitter and weird tasting. Imma keep trying though!

Aaron CohenMOD

@Adam Maybe it can't be done without lots of sugar in which case it's not worth it, but yeah it never works to just pour fizzy water into my tea!

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Emily B

It’s not quite black tea soda, but Bom Dough in Cambridge has a sparking matcha… maybe that could get close to scratching that tea soda itch?

Aaron CohenMOD

I don't think that would do it, but it sounds good and I'm gonna try it. Folu (https://www.instagram.com/p/C2qVAKCuBjw/) just made a Baja Blast and matcha combo and that inspired me to try it as a sorbet at Gracie's this summer sometime.

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Michael Beuselinck

Just wait until they have a hot dog water / coffee crossover.

ayanamidreamsequence

A bit late to the game here, but I read this thinking I had had sparkling ice tea. A quick search tells me that Lipton do a sparkling ice tea, though it seems to be an EU thing. Sparkling tea also throws up some fancier, independent type drinks (so maybe try whatever place sells those) or some Asian brands (so if you live near a C/K-town you might have luck there). Am over in Europe plenty and lived in Asia for years, so suspect I have indeed had both of these.

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