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Alien still hasn’t listened to all of Voyager’s Golden Record

Eighteen months on, the alien who discovered Voyager’s Golden Record still hasn’t gotten around to listening to the whole thing.

“The wind, rain, and surf sounds are pretty cool, but I usually sort of zone out when it gets to the crickets chirping, and then I just end up turning it off,” said Ellinger, adding that he will sometimes put the record on as background noise when he’s cleaning his electro-biological habitat.

Current status of The Onion: still really pretty good.